I told you, readers, that I would share with you food that worked for my family, and I am here, keeping my promise. This is a lunch that I can hand my family and nobody complains or cries or attempts to bargain with me or eats it while passive-aggressively musing about what they wish they were eating. I give you the hamboat:

I bet you didn’t expect this giant hamboat.

This hamboat has docked next to some cornichons and banana pepper rounds, which are not strictly necessary but are pretty darned delightful. You may or may not know that Trader Joe’s cornichons are very important to us. If you didn’t, now you do. DON’T FORGET. I’m kidding, you can forget. I’m not worried about it.

What is a hamboat? It is, I think, one of the simplest ham-related things you could make: crusty bread, halved lengthwise, spread with cream cheese and piled with ham. Hamboats are unhealthy, we know. Hamboats are better food for humans than a burger and fries and good when we need a sure thing. Hamboats are also delicious, so we feel it is appropriate to consume them once a week despite their unhealthiness. You can decide if you agree.

Okay, one more thing: let’s just sneak into this quiet room where I keep the best secret stuff hidden. You all, it’s necessary. Anyway, look!

Mini Valrhona bars at Trader Joe’s, you guys! For 99 cents! Have they had these long? I haven’t been there in forever. Don’t they seem to glow from inside with a light that is their very own?

Okay, that’s all. I read a book this week, too, but I’m going to save it for another post. That’s the blogging equivalent of hiding my ankles from the gentlemen, and I am a lady of quality.