Christmas in July: Cookie One, Tipsy Date Squares

Christmas 2020 was weird and horrible, let’s get that out of the way. We all have our own reasons, it was the same for everyone, but also different for everyone, ugh, let’s never do that again, etc.

Moving right along.

I made these to take to a sad little handoff to family which occurred late on a gloomy afternoon in the parking lot of an Applebee’s, an entire sentence I want to throw in the trash.

There’s even more to hate, but I’m leaving it out because [string of profanity ending in “hospital”]. Things weren’t going super well just then, you see, but thankfully, they got better*.

My cookies were amazing at all times, however, and had no need for a hospital or for improvement. Well, they’re Martha’s cookies, and that’s why they’re amazing. I couldn’t have come up with this recipe. Thanks, Martha! I will always love you.

This is an accurate representation of the cookies’ appearance.
Ancient Martha holiday issue from 2010. If you have this, you have the recipe in your house.

The cookies are: heavy, boozy, a meal in themselves, and exactly great to have around at holiday time. I highly recommend them, and the recipients enjoyed them very much.

I am not a cookie person. I don’t like making cookies, and I don’t like eating them outside of a very specific set of circumstances. A cookie must be different in a good way to make a blip on my radar, and this qualifies. Basically it’s a hefty, chunked-up fruitcake, which means it’s not really a cookie, and it is really cake, which I like, and fruitcake has a very special place in my heart. I love it so. Oh my.

PAUSE FOR BREATH. In conclusion, if you don’t like fruitcake, you probably won’t like this, but if you do? Make it. It’s very nice.

*only kidding, they didn’t, but we won’t dwell.